Relationships are hard to maintain. They require effort and there is no one trick that uniformly works in all.
Every relationship has its unique challenges that if not addressed at an early stage may lead into a breakup. Breakup, though hurting, is seen as the easy way out of a relationship. There are however those who are committed and have taken a vow to remain together through thick and thin.
Although there are difficulties, the rewards out of a good relationship are immense and most of the times they are worth the effort. For those raring to give it a chance, there are several ways to maintain a healthy relationship.
1. Respect your partner
David Edgerly, a relationship specialist, writing on untaming.com summarizes it by saying that “the answer is mutual respect.” If there is respect the rest will fall into place. Relationships are without a doubt complicated as they bring into union two people with different levels of intelligence, accomplishments, personalities and also world views. Even outside relationships it is improbable to find two people who think the same and who have accomplished the same in life. There is bound to be one who is better than the other even amongst identical twins. While there maybe these raging differences the problem arises when one party believes that he or she is better than the other and indeed looks down upon the other partner. Relationships are referred to as partnerships in the assumption that they are based on equality. Although there maybe unequal contribution materially, there are other factors such as emotional and moral support that count. The key hence is that both partners respect each other without any hint of disdain.
2. Look at your actions first before pointing an accusing finger
Egoism and self praise have no room in a healthy relationship. A partner that is always quick to point out the mistakes of the other party unknowingly fuels the fire of discord and ruin. For a relationship to thrive best both parties should exercise patience and always look at the underlying factors first before plunging into an argument or counteraccusations. For two people who are truthful and committed to each other, there is always the possibility that an argument will arise along the way. Indeed arguments are important for they help establish the solidness of a relationship. What is important however is that the wronged party exercises tolerance and understanding. This can be accomplished by placing yourself in your partner’s shoes to understand why he or she committed the wrong. An analysis of the situation might go along way towards achieving forgiveness rather than trying to hammer out their guilt through countless accusations.
3. Appreciating the differences
As aforementioned all people are unique and they respond differently to distinct stimuli. These differences are even more apparent in romantic relationships especially in situations where couples are living together and spend better part of their days under the same roof. The saying that men are from Mars and women from Venus maybe an overused cliché but it is quite loaded. Men and women are wired differently right from their upbringing and socialization. They also love and prioritize different things. Most men are physical while women tend to be emotional. Their judgments are also different and so are their opinions on different things. An understanding of these differences is the first step towards having a healthy relationship.
4. Appreciate your partner
Relationships go to the dogs the moment partners begin taking each other for granted. At the first couple of weeks and months, relationships are blissful and very romantic as both partners seem to value each other’s company. As time goes by, due to familiarity or boredom, they seem to take each other for granted and fail to appreciate each other. This is the beginning of the downfall. The secret to reversing this is to appreciate every little effort made towards maintaining the relationship. Those little and sometimes inconsequential gifts should be appreciated and every moment spent together should be appreciated. Without appreciation, relationships disintegrate as the parties seek for pleasure and love elsewhere.
5. Make love often
No matter what people say, making love is fundamental to every romantic relationship and indeed is an important factor in any relationship. Sex is unique and if played right plays a crucial role in creating a bond between two partners. The slogan ofmake love not war has more significance in a relationship than in the real world. Making passionate love can help heal the heartaches that come with constant fighting. Fights, when they occur, should be followed by makeup sex as the hormones released during love making are therapeutic helping ease relationship anxieties.
6. Be friends
While romance might be temporal friendship is eternal and takes longer to fizzle out. The first step towards forming a healthy relationship is by learning more about each other and developing a bond based on friendship rather than on lust. Learning to enjoy each other’s company plays a greater role in this as despite the numerous arguments, there is a strong bond underneath that keeps the two of you glued together. Friends are always there for each other, for better of for worse. Although this may sound unromantic it is the truth.
7. Learn to share
Selfishness and meanness are the real seeds of destruction when it comes to relationships. A sharing couple goes a long way as they are able to survive in times of plenty and in times of scarcity. Sharing is a broad term that encompasses both material and physical things. For instance those couples that do not earn the same could do more with sharing to ensure that none of them feels inadequate. Exchanging gifts is also another way of maintaining a healthy relationship. Sharing should include moral and emotional support when one partner is going through a rough patch.
Indeed relationships are quite complicated. They bring together two completely unique individuals with wide ranging differences and this requires immense effort to stay afloat. The crucial step towards a healthy relationship is to understand these differences and learn to respect each other. It is also important that the couple learns to share and appreciate each other if the spirit and tempo of the relationship is to be maintained.